It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…

Mental Health Diaries- Since I haven’t written one of these in a while, why not on my birthday! Doesn’t that sound like fun? Wow, it’s here! I am 31. I can’t believe how fast this year went by. 30 felt like such a big deal, so this feels kinda- meh. Plus, I usually hate my birthday […]

June Gloom (monthly wrap up)

Half of the year is over! When I made this blog I promised myself I would NEVER miss a monthly wrap up. I am bad with commitment so they never end up being posted til it’s pretty much midway through the next month, but nevertheless… I kept my promise to myself for a whole half-a-year, […]

Love in Cemeteries

Last night I was crying before bed. I start crying about one thing, and then move to the next, and then eventually land at my mom’s murder. Not every time, but most of the time I end up there. The saddest story of my life. So there I was, crying and comforting myself in the […]

EMDR: “I did the best I could”

*Content Warning: PTSD, homicide, trauma* My first EMDR session: The memory we are working with today is the most terrifying memory I have from the night of my mom’s murder/my attempted murder, it is the moment the stranger in my house enters my mother’s room where we were both at. My therapist asked me a […]

Mental Health Diaries: PTSD & meeting myself where I left off

The first few years after my mom’s murder I call ‘blackout years’, I don’t remember too many details about life at that time. My only goal was to survive. I completed my first year of college right before her death, so naturally, I tried carrying on with school and other things 18-year old’s do. The […]