Podcasts & Virtual Summit
This month my episode of the Being There Podcast was released, Being A Victim of Attempted Murder. I recorded this with Dick and Kellie all the way back in November when I went to New York. It was an incredible trip. Not only did I record this episode (which brought up all of the feels of the night everything happened), but I also went to a munch, a dungeon party, AND had my first experience with knife-play. I was curious about it since I met Dick, and I wasn’t sure how I would respond to the knives. We talk about that in the episode as well. I was hesitant to share this with my IRL friends & family because of the kink aspect- but I’m really glad I did. It really isn’t hard to find out all the kinky-sex healing shit I’ve been into for the last year online, so I guess it’s time to let go of the ‘WHAT EVER WILL THEY THINK?’ worries.
I am super excited to be a part of the Come As You Are Summit, which will be happening next month. I speak about my trauma and healing through sexuality, as well as what it’s like to be a camgirl who also talks about mental health issues (Hint: definitely not easy, but worth it). There are so many phenomenal speakers involved in this virtual conference, I hope that you’ll check it out and purchase tickets (purchase soon before the discounted price goes away!).
OMG- I ALSO RECORDED AN EPISODE ON MY FAVORRRRITTEEEEE PODCAST EVER! Oh, and released a new episode of my own podcast after 5 long months on hiatus… Yeah, it’s been a busy month. I can’t wait to share my episode on This is Actually Happening when it comes out this May.
Reminder: The coupon code for the Come As You Are Summit ends this Saturday 4/7, so get your tickets now!!!
I took a big step this month and contacted a therapist. For a long time, EMDR has been recommended to me, but I was never able to afford it. Now that I’m on Medi-Cal, I decided to call and advocate for myself by asking if any mental health services were covered. The very first therapist I called was completely covered (hallelujah!) AND specializes in EMDR. I immediately started to freak out. This sounded really great when it was something which seemed unobtainable, but after I made the appointment… holy fuck! Que panic. Can I handle this?
Although I talk about my mom’s murder quite easily here on this blog and on podcasts, I put up a lot of walls around myself to therapists. I’m not sure if it’s my own stubbornness and I’m just trying to test them, or if it’s self-sabotage in my healing journey, but I have a hard time laying it all out there for them. So, on the first appointment, I forced myself to come out to her in all the ways… polyamorous, kinky, queer, cyber-sex worker, mildly afraid to leave the house (yes, that’s embarrassing for me to admit even to a therapist!). She handled it all very well without batting an eye, phew. Once I felt seen and heard in those areas, it was a lot easier to talk to her about my mom.
I don’t officially start EMDR until next session, so I’ll be writing about it a lot next month I’m sure. I have cried pretty hard in every session so far, and she’s asked me questions that no one else has ever asked and helped me see things in new ways already. I am impressed, and leave feeling cleansed.
So, can this still be a category even if I am not really in love with any new toys yet? JUST KIDDING, OF COURSE IT CAN. I am still on my satisfyer and flicker, but I did get a new dildo (which was fun to be excited about because I haven’t been a fan of internal use toys thus far! We’ll see!)
The big event of the month for me was the Transgender Erotica Awards PreParty in Hollywood! It was fucking fantastic. I’ll be leaving to Exxxotica in Denver this Friday, wish me luck!!!!