All the way up to August of this year, I’ve been proud of myself for keeping up with my Monthly Wrap Up posts, even though they would be ten days late or so, I felt like I was keeping up with the minimum. Now, here we are, three months of no posts 🙁
So, let’s play catch up.
August: my 31st birthday! Every year I have a bit of an identity crisis around my birthday, this year it was about my brand. I decided that MeganAshleyWrites.com (and all the social media I had with that name) no longer fit me, mostly because I don’t blog or write much anymore *ahem*, and it’s just me posting about my camming, nudes, or sexting. While I still want to write my book and about the mental health stuff (I always will), it’s not the #1 for me right now.
I thought about changing my name to something completely different, like how many cam models have a ‘stage name’, I’ve always wanted to be a Veronica, but decided that would be really confusing at this point.
So, I went to purchase MeganAshley.com- and the fucker was $2000 dollars!!! A premium domain or something. I debated it for a while and talked to my publicist. We decided to do it. THANK GOD FOR CREDIT CARDS! Now, I’m the proud owner of my own name without anything before or after it (Happy bday to me :/ ) Unfortunately, Megan Ashley was taken on most social media platforms so I decided to do XoMeganAshley on IG, Twitter, and FB.
It was freeing to make this small (yet expensive) change because this year has had several endings, it’s nice to have a fresh start. Now, I have this shiny, brand new design on my blog and am looking forward to making a blogging comeback.
September: SEX DOWN SOUTH!!!! My first time visiting Atlanta, it was fucking amazing. Sex Down South was one of the best conferences I’ve ever been to! I will definitely make this a priority to go to every year!
In September I also got a car with the help of my wonderful partner. On my Instagram, I talk a lot about my mental health and my most recent diagnosis- agoraphobia. One of my biggest issues is with leaving the house and driving, but when I didn’t have my own car it made it that much harder. I only drive about once a week, but it’s helped so much to be able to get around and do the things I need to do. Definitely wrap-up worthy!
OH, and we got a kitten! Yep, that’s right, now we have 2 dogs and 4 cats…
October: I got bangs.
It was my partner K’s 32nd bday, we went to Vegas and I decided I want to move there.
I went to the YNOT cam awards with Leigh and K as my dates. It was so cool to be around so many cam models and stay at a fancy hotel in Hollywood. Even though I live close by, if you know LA, you know how horrible traffic is. It made it feel like a fun getaway instead of just another average LA event.
At the end of the month, it was my mom’s 50th birthday. For some reason, this birthday felt like a huge deal compared to the others since her death in 2006. She was 37 when she died, but somehow her 40th didn’t register to me as a big deal. I think I was still to wrapped up in the trauma of her murder. Now, I still have flashbacks and memories of the night, but I can greive her without necessarily having to go back to the murder itself.
It was also the first year I went to the store and got candles. I blew them out for her. It felt healing and therapeutic, a new tradition for her bday that I can do. It only took me 11 years to be able to do this <3.
November: The day after Halloween I was supposed to head to New Jersey for Exxxotica. I didn’t make my plane. Instead, I had a panic attack and decided not to go. I cried the whole morning. I had talked to my therapist about some reservations about being so far away from home at such an emotional time, but we decided I should do it. I had a sponsor, plans to be involved in some classes and was looking forward to hanging out with a lot of folks I interact with on twitter and social media.
As always with my mental health, I felt like a giant baby to cancel. I ended up making peace with my decision by rationalizing that if I had come down with physical sickness or an injury, there’s no way I’d question going.
My mental illness shouldn’t be treated differently. Just because people can’t see it, and I like to ignore it as much as possible, there are times when it can be downright dangerous for me to be away from my little village and support system when I need them most, so I’m proud of myself for listening to that inner voice. I should have done it sooner because I knew it wasn’t a good idea to go, but I wanted to push myself.
Looking back on the year, I traveled way too much. Next year I have to be more choosey on which events I do so it doesn’t catch up to me the way it did this year. I have a really hard time leaving the house, but you’d never know it when you see me out and about, especially at conferences and events.
Next year along with Sex Down South, Exxxotica NJ is one of my higher priorities, I heard it was great!
Finally, finally, FINALLY, we released the first episode of Queers Next Door. And the blog is now up and running. I will be posting there more but keeping this blog as my personal journal. Thank you so much to DICK WOUND for all the help. Me and Leigh have been working hard on this for months and are so happy to release our little baby out into the world!! Please be sure to listen, rate, subscribe, review, all those things! and SHARE if you like it, that helps so much!
New public Snapchat:
Don’t forget you can text me anytime!
Let me know what you’d like to see more of on my blog, and how you liked the first episode of QUEERS NEXT DOOR!!!