Hi there and welcome to my blog. My name is Megan, I am 35 years old. Leo sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius rising. (Yep, I’m an astrology queer!!!) I’m a manifesting generator if you’re into human design. I recently stumbled upon human design info and it made SO much sense. If you’ve been following me for any amount of time you’ve probably seen me dip my toes into several projects at once and become super obsessed over them, before jumping into something else and forgetting all about the other one. It’s just what I do.
I have recently decided to pare down some of the things I’m working on, but blogging will always be one of my passions. I love to tell stories and share my life. I’ve had quite an interesting one so far. Telling my stories, especially of grief and survival, have been so therapeutic for me. I frequently get ‘vulnerability hangovers’ and want to erase everything I’ve written or shared, but then I receive lovely messages about how my work has helped someone or made them not feel so alone, and I realize IT’S ALL WORTH IT! Feel all the feelings, share all the things, that’s my motto!
You’re probably wondering where all my blog posts are, and that’s a funny story, because this is my blog, yes, but I have a terrible time sharing about such sensitive topics- my mental health, ptsd, relationship and whatever else floats through my brain… so I was using patreon. That way, I felt secure behind a paywall. But I decided in July of this year to take a break and focus on my Social Media Management/VA business MeganAshleyPA.com, and I’m not sure when I’ll return! (Update: as of 10/22 I am back to blogging at Ko-Fi!)
I grew up in Los Angeles county and had a pretty magical life. My first dream was to become a teacher, I would organize my room like a classroom, and I’ve always adored office supplies, papers, stickers, planners, and pens. I share a lot about that on my instagram. When I was 18, someone broke into my home and attacked me and my family. My mom did not survive the attack, and I was sent to the hospital for 10 days with a collapsed lung. This turned my whole world upside down, everything changed in the blink of an eye. Surviving attempted murder and witnessing my mother’s murder affects every part of my life, even now, 16 years later. As I was sitting behind the car I was hiding in that night, I thought about how I never became the teacher I wanted to be, I never got married, and I never came out and accepted my true identity. I swore to myself if I survived, I would change that. I did become a Montessori teacher, I did get married (and divorced, x2), and I did come out a few years later. Check, check, check.
I still wake up sometimes thinking this was all a bad dream, and that my mom is still here with us. Grief is a wild ride. My grief was layered and so complicated due to the trauma and ptsd I experienced, and still experience. Sometimes I feel like I am barely starting to get into the trenches of grief. This is why sharing has been so helpful. If you’d like to hear my story, I was on a podcast called This is Actually Happening where I tell it in detail. Trigger warning, of course, for violence, homicide, trauma, etc. Take great care if you listen <3.
While I talk about my story so much, I am so much more than that. I try to focus a lot on QUEER JOY and healing, although my relationship with healing can get quite complicated as well. I’m in the process of writing a memoir about that night and my life since. It’s taken me 2 years, and 3 restarts, but it currently sits at about 26,000 words. I can’t wait to finish it one day, but I am in no rush.
I was the co-host of Queers Next Door for seasons 1-4, before taking a much needed self-care break. If you love queer podcasts, go subscribe and check it out!
“You’re beautiful because you know your own darkness, and still, that doesn’t stop you from finding your light”
“Your photos are awesome and I appreciate each and every update that you share. But your ability to articulate sadness is what keeps me coming back. You paint one hell of a narrative with your keyboard. Thanks for sharing.” – M, Patreon Member
“I am in absolute awe of your story, your courage, and your strength. I just finished listening to This is Actually Happening and my breath has been taken away. Thank you for being so brave and for sharing your story. You have inspired me profoundly. I wish you all the happiness in the world.” – JeffsMusic