Stitch Fix // Plus Size Try On Vlog

Come see what I got in my first STITCH FIX! I try everything on and go over prices. I didn’t love everything at first, but ended up keeping it all because of the 25% discount you get when you do so, and now I love them all and am excited to wear them!

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Let me know in the comments below which item you liked best? Have you tried stitch fix before? What was your experience?

 

My Self Care Routine Vlog

Come join me as I go over my self care routine! All links to everything below! Share with me what is your easy self care routine below? 

Wiccan candle holders: https://amzn.to/2LP9JLu

Chime Candles: https://amzn.to/2Nmhfhn

Erin Condren Planner and Stickers: https://www.erincondren.com/

Watch my Weekly Planning Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1utJC8YCG5w

Goddess Provisions (where I got the bath bomb!) https://goddessprovisions.com/

Coconut Oil (Oil Pulling) https://amzn.to/3jQ1Qlz

Magnetic Lashes: https://amzn.to/3pfNLis

DIY Nail Shack Subscription: https://www.cratejoy.com/subscription-box/diy-dip-nails/

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How I went from washing my hair every day to every three days!

 

In this video I discuss my hair care routine, how I went from washing my hair every day to every three days using Bumble and Bumble hair products. Before this I was using Prose haircare, and I was not impressed with it for the money. They give you a special formula just for your hair type, so maybe I had the wrong one, but either way… I am very happy with my stylists new recommendation of Bumble and Bumble.

I was experiencing very oily roots and dry ends. It was a LOT to wash my hair every day because it’s so long and thick. It was very hard to manage. It’s been much easier since my new routine. Now my hair feels shiny, smooth and clean even when I am not washing it as much. I hope you enjoy the video.

Have you tried Prose or Bumble and Bumble? Let me know what you thought of them in the comments below or on my Youtube Channel.

Bumble and Bumble Sunday Shampoo – For once a week

Bumble and Bumble Gentle Shampoo

Bumble and Bumble Super Rich Conditioner

Prose Hair Care

See you next week! Don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter, and check out my other reviews here.

My first mammogram

About a month or so ago, I was in the shower and decided it was a good time to do my self breast exam. I was feeling pain in my left under arm/breast area.

Now, I rarely do them, mostly because they terrify me.

My grandma (mom’s mom) had breast cancer. And my mom was murdered at the young age of 37, so it’s hard to say if she would have had it. My grandpa on my mom’s side also had cancer. It’s something that scares the shit out of me. Something I feel like is coming someday, I just don’t know when.
 
So, back to my exam.
 
I was feeling my left boob near my armpit and I swore that I felt a little lump.
 
Another thing that makes my exams slightly more hard to do, is that I was stabbed near my left boob/armpit, so my body holds a lot of trauma there.
 
It feels numb sometimes, triggering others. Sometimes it hurts. So right away I thought “Ok, this could be scar tissue”.
 
I got out of the shower and bent over, and felt again. It started to hurt so bad. I was too afraid to feel for it again, so I got dressed and then came out and told my partner. She said she wanted to try to feel for it. I didn’t want her to because of the pain, but I knew I should. I laid down and she started feeling around. She said she couldn’t feel anything.
 
I already had a doctors appointment scheduled for January, and they said that was the soonest they could see me. So I figured it was best to try to forget about it, or else my anxiety would get the best of me.
 
At my doctors appointment I mentioned it to the doctor, and he felt around. He said he couldn’t feel anything unusual. But because of my family history, and because of my pain, he said it would be best to get a mammogram and ultrasound. I was relieved he didn’t feel anything, but I almost didn’t trust him. I have a hard time with doctors and, well, all things medical, since my trauma of attempted murder and survival in 2006.
 
I went home and the pain still persisted.
 
Yesterday was the big day. I was so nervous because so many people said it hurts pretty bad.
 
I went in and had to have my covid screening, then went to the station to check in.
 
I was told not to wear any lotion or deodorant, so of course I was sweating profusely because of my nerves.
 
They called me back into the room and had me undress from the waist up. The technician explained how the mammogram works.
 
Then, like all appointments I go to, I had to explain what happened and why I have scar tissue there. I told her I was stabbed, and she put a little sticker over the scar to mark it for the mammogram.
 
She was very comforting and helpful. She was patient with me. She told me that after the mammogram, she would send me for the ultrasound, and we would have our results before I left.
 
I started crying right then and there. So many lovely folks I know have had breast cancer, and I thought this might be the last moment before I found out I had it as well. I know how strong everyone I know had been, but I worried I don’t have the strength to fight like that right now.
 
The machine looks how you would expect, with two large trays ready to squish squish squish. She maneuvered my right breast onto the tray, then told me to take a deep breath and hold it in. Then the other tray came smashing down. But surprisingly, it didn’t hurt me at all. Then, we did the left breast. She told me not to be alarmed if they came back and said they needed more pictures.
 
I went to the next waiting room and watched HGTV until it was time for the ultrasound.
 
I laid on the table and the technician squirted cold liquid on my painful area and went for it. Now, this is the part that hurt! She kept pushing down on the area. I started asking her if everything looked alright, and she said “I will show the radiologist!” I thought for sure that meant something was wrong. Can you tell I’m paranoid? And anxious, AF!
 
After a few minutes it was over and she left the room. Waiting there was terrible. It’s hard for me to trust myself and my intuition because of PTSD. Rationally, you could say I don’t have reason to be alarmed since I’d been told twice that they couldn’t feel a lump.
 
But, my PTSD and anxiety brain tells me everything “bad” or “scary” WILL indeed happen to me. So, I don’t know which voice to listen to.
 
She came back in and said everything looked normal, and the pain I’m feeling is just dense tissue. Just like that, I was relieved and ready to do a happy dance.
 
I got dressed and went to wait for my partner to pick me up. I texted everyone close to me who knew about it, and they all responded saying it was such fantastic news! It really was.
 
I’m sharing because I think it’s important to normalize doing our breast exams, and going to frightening appointments. I really wanted to just put this off, but I’m so thankful I didn’t.
 
I’m also thankful my doctor listened to me, made me feel seen and heard, and sent me for the mammogram. He didn’t make me feel silly or stupid for being so worried and upset about feeling a lump that he couldn’t feel.
 
All of the medical professionals I have seen about this treated me with respect, patience, and care. I’m so fortunate.
 
Have you ever had a mammogram? What was your experience like? Don’t forget to do your monthly breast exams! I am going to get better about this, I’ve made that promise to myself!

If you like this post, please comment, like and share! Thank you so much. 

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How I got into blogging

How I feel when I FINALLY finish a blog post!
I definitely have imposter syndrome. It’s hard to consider myself a real life blogger and vlogger, but that’s something I’m working on in 2021.
I have had blogs off and on since I was around… 16 years old? There’s always been this desire inside of me to share with the world.
I guess you can say it started when I was a young teen, I came across a blogger and live streamer named GabGab. She was from New York and had a live camera in her apartment all the time. You could watch her live her life… drink tea, type on her computer, read. I thought it was the greatest thing. I really enjoyed watching her and then reading her blog posts. I wish I could find her now. Or maybe she prefers not to be found, either way, she made such an impact on me! I knew I wanted to do something like that when I “grew up”. {And now I kind of am, with all my live writing sprints and what not! See? I’m making it happen!}
My first blogs were poems and short pieces about my anxiety. It was before my mom’s murder, and before any of my mental health diagnoses. Like most of the things I’ve written, both physically and digitally, they have been erased. One of my issues with writing is – while I have this strong desire to share with others, I also have the very strong and immediate desire to delete things ASAP. Also working on that one.
After my mom’s murder I started another live journal to discuss my PTSD, mental health, and my mom’s murder trial. Thankfully, a few of those posts still exist, but they’re so vulnerable I have a hard time sharing them as of right now.
From my writings on that blog, I got contacted by a Marsy’s law group to help run their facebook page. I thought that was so cool to be noticed at all for my writing.
When I was a little girl, I used to love to write short stories. I remember many writing exercises from school and how I’d get lost in it. Somewhere along the way, that got disrupted. It can be extremely hard for me to write and create now. I keep pushing through and trying! I am determined to break this creative block.
Another very inspiring blogger for me is Katy from Too Sober For This. I found her when I was around 21 years old, she’s another person I thought “I want to be like her when I grow up!” LOL. She is also where I got my #OOTD post inspiration from. I love how vulnerable and open she is about so many hard topics, addiction, fertility issues, mental health… If you have not already, definitely check her out!
I simply have to mention Samantha Irby from Bitches Gotta Eat. She’s fucking incredible, and makes me laugh so hard while speaking so much truth. I wish I was half as funny as her. Also working on that ;). So there you have it, my inspirations. I’m sure there are more and I’ll have to do a separate post just for them.
I want my blog to be a queer lifestyle blog. I still am not even sure what lifestyle blogging means TBH. It just sounds cool, and like maybe I have to not niche down so much? The idea of niching down stresses me the fuck out. I can’t choose one thing and write about it all the time. I mean, I guess I could… but I don’t want to.
There’s so much to blog about this year. My mental health, my relationship, life coaching and all the things I do, healing from my mother’s murder, etc. It doesn’t fit into one nice little basket. It spills out and is kind of all over the place. Is there a place in the blogging sphere for me? I hope so! I guess we will keep finding out!
Are you a blogger? How did you get into blogging? If you like this post, please comment and share it with someone else who may enjoy it.
Don’t forget you can join my patreon and see more blogs and vlogs for $1 a month! HiMeganAshley.com